CHAT 2020
” …All lives matter… “
…
..
.
“hello freak bitches”
A guy’s creep face with a third eye is enclosed in a circle logo.
It’s the Joe Rogan Experience talk show.
The world is locked down, and global protests are a new norm.
Joe warms up with the usual talks about aliens, and goes over how the paradox of tolerance works.
Also covers covid, how face masks are stupid, and his thoughts on Ivermectin.
He has a new guest on the scene.
Stan Bailey.
Content creator of bros-over-hoes-2-get-hoes podcast and vlogs.
Holds a high prestige position in Call of Duty’s international rankings.
A corny looking white boy, scrawny and always ornery.
Wore spectacles with taped frames and a freckled nose.
Promotes Doge coin, and polite sexism.
Joe is stoked to hear his guest celebrated his recent 100,000 subscribers by buying his first car, a 1973 Chevrolet Chevelle.
“Oh that’s awesome, that was my first car also. Once you go the muscle car route, trust me, you won’t stop.”
Joe makes muscle car noises and shows pictures of his collection to an amused guest.
“Ha! Indeed! ” Stan fiddles with his fingers, “Tell you the truth sir, I’m not that ambitious. I really liked the car after I heard the band.”
“Ahhhh, no waaaay, I know what you’re talking about.” Joe Rogan flexes his pipes and does air guitar, “so laaaaaay doooooooown, the threaaaaat is reaaaaaal.”
The guest claps slowly, impressed, smirks wide, “haha, that’s the song that started it all!. Indeed, I also like how the car tends to turn heads.”
Joe mischievously shares and winks, “Yeah, she’s a real beauty- total chick magnet I tell you what.”
The guest swells up with pride in his facebook marketplace find and purchase.
“…My car’s name is, powerful. I just really like that word. Did you give yours a name?”
“Indeed sir,” Stan flicks his wrist, “Whip-of-instinct”.
Joe laughs and likes it, reminds him of racing horse names.
As the host, he looks around his desk, pats his stomach, “We feel like getting a pizza? let’s see what–“
Jamie shakes his head, no.
The pizza place shut-down early for safety concerns over a planned peaceful protest.
Joe shakes his head, annoyed, and offers an alternative to his 20 yr old guest,
“Fk. Can I offer you a cuban? Gotta celebrate all these successes you’re going through, you know?”
“Indeed, thanks Mr. Rogan sir. I’m open to try one of them all American Cubanos. What a darn pain with those rioters eh sir? I’ll never understand so much insubordination.
You have to respect authority first and foremost…”
Joe hands him a Cigar and cuts and lights his own while Stan observes and speaks,
“…I mean, it’s not a hard concept. Don’t resist! Just obey, let them do their job and arrest you.
If you didn’t do anything wrong, the judge will let you go. Indeed, it’ll just be another all’s well that ends well kind of day. Small price to pay to live in the land of the free.”
Rogan passively raises his concern,
“Well, we do have to wonder, at what limits do we say to cops, hey man, you’ve gone too far?”
Stan’s trying his best to cut and light the cigar without giving away it’s his first time.
“The audacity sir. They have the constitutional privilege to gather a bit, but to riot and close the roads? Affecting people’s businesses? That’s not kosher.”
Stan shakes his head upsettably,
“Indeed, If I need to go to the hospital, or the gentlemen’s club, I shouldn’t be interrupted by other people’s opinions on gender and race cards.
We’re a nation of laws, and the thin blue line are the only ones risking their lives for us every day…”
Joe Rogan agrees, “I mean, I hear you, All-Lives-Matter. We can’t just assume all police are bad because of a few bad apples.”
“My life matters, so I stay calm and follow the law of the land.
They’re not special. Can’t they just riot somewhere else, and respect us by skipping traffic and innocent businesses?”
Rogan takes his puffs, adjusts his headset so he doesn’t hit his cigar by accident, “You make some good points there. And this whole defunding the police, that’s not a smart move. What’s next, somebody is trying to steal your car in your neighborhood. Like, who you gonna call? George Jetson next door?” Stan doesn’t get the Jetson reference, but he’s getting a hang of the cigar as he rotates it while puffing to even out the ash-tip.
“What’s that Jamie?” Rogan has a word with Jamie, “there’s some communities in Brazil and Africa and other places that are voting locally for their own police?” Blows raspberries. “That’s like, such tribal village sht. Imagine having a government so far gone that the people pick and fund their own police. How do you even manage that?” Rogan makes believe he’s in a humble village, “Here Elroy, you seem like a nice guy. Take this gun and badge and if you see a bad guy, tell him to freeze in a loud voice. Can you imagine the logistics of storing your prisoners in what? Little bamboo cages?
Stan speaks up, “Prisoners here in the United States have it so good compared to everywhere else.”
His leg’s shaking in excitement, “Indeed, the citizens can also be so ungrateful. That’s why these third-world countries end up getting punished, they don’t invest in a proper security force and terrorists take over and then, guess what, we have to deal with them.
Our establishment isn’t perfect, but it’s ours. Last time I checked, weak governments are the ones packaging my coffee packets and dirt diving for my phone parts.”
They both laugh, Joe mentions “And that’s why we have the second amendment. Speaking of all American, check this bad-boy out.”
Joe shows off to his guest a 500 yr old Katana, claiming it is Miyamoto Musashi recommended.
He shares how it connects with his warrior in the garden spirit, “can you feel it?”
The guest is enthralled, holding it up like a ninja, “This is so cool sir, but, indeed, it doesn’t give that glow up feel like…”
Stan pops off a few buttons from his flannel shirt and opens his left side, exposing a holster and extremely large double-handed arm-cannon.
Joe nervously asks, “You brought a gun?”
“Haha, of course sir. I am a legally licensed gun owner just like you. By the way,
I talk really good about you all the time on my channel, you’re like, a virtual dad to me.
Check it out.”
Joe glanced at the revolver, then at Stan. He believed in the right to own a gun. He was less certain how he felt about discovering one on his podcast table.
His mind tries to avoid the dissonance by questioning how something so big got conceal-carried.
Rogan forgets about it as he finds himself admiring Stan’s 15 incher. It’s a Smith & Wesson Magnum 500. All silver.
As he feels the weight of it, Joe resists the urge to laugh at such a small guy carrying such an exaggerated gun, but pride in the young man kept him in check.
“Indeed, I know it’s a little OP, but it reminds me of my grand-dad sir. He was in WW2. Marines, you know?”
Joe’s intrigued and respectful, asks his guest to share more.
“I couldn’t join the corps…” Stan takes another few puffs, getting better at it, “He was a real patriot sir. He had to kill for his country, and that’s okay because it was against communists.
He was a straight up man. He didn’t have any problem with pronouns. Know what he used to say all the time?
Hard times create hard men. Soft times create soft men, always be willing to do what needs to be done, any clime, any place.”
Joe nods admiringly, “They don’t make men like they used to. So like, in your world view then, that must have left a lot of impact on your life. What did you understand that to mean, what needs to be done?”
“Quiet loyalty sir”, Stan doesn’t skip a beat,
“Real power uses quiet speech, subtext, to signal us true believers.
It’s what keeps the fabric of society as a whole working together. I just happen to be really good at reading subtext.
You ever hear about the great reset??”
Joe Rogan returns the shooter and leans in, “That’s like, Armageddon or something, right? End of the world sht?”
“Yes sir, we can look at it that way. Indeed, the story is that the top group will sweep through the population and rapture the worthy. The reward for true believers is to be promoted for their loyalty. This means higher quality of living, privilege, and much higher statistical probability of reproduction.”
Stan smirks and reasons with his hands and smoke, “The non-believers, or traitors, submit and serve the higher group.”
“How do you know, like, that this reset is coming? How did you get the subtext that it’s coming?”
Stans looks at his gun on the table, before re-shifting in his seat, “Indeed, you know the Met Gala? They had this story it was… urgh, indeed, it was very ballardian, the name’s escapin– ah! Indeed! The Garden of Time. Sorry, can’t remember the author but the story itself is about an innocent couple that is trying to delay time as much as they can because some looters are coming. So in summary, the elites are letting us know to get ready for a big war that’s coming, so we have to get ready. And the troublemakers?
All kinds of rioters. But I know that for sure feminists are the biggest threat. Indeed, they’re the snakes in our garden paradise.”
Joe’s eyebrows are heavy, “so- who’s the inside group exactly? Men? Governments? Catholics?”
Stan pushes his glasses frame like an anime character to his nose bridge, “Well, yes indeed sir, enforced monogamy is a culture critical goal as important as economics. All the western governments were able to take over using the stronger, more dominant patriarchal structures. The Abrahamic religions include the Jews, Islamic, Catholics, and tens of thousands of Christian denominations. Whether we look at the natural biological, religious, or state angle, men as leaders to women is the superior position. can you imagine a world without all the amazing things men have contributed?”
Joe Rogan puffs some more in thought, “So, correct me if I’m wrong. What you’re saying is, if men weren’t in charge and didn’t have money, society collapses?”
“Indeed sir, yes. Without money or chad level genes, what girl is going to want to be with a nerd like me? Societies where women can do what they want, a male loneliness epidemic takes over. So the smart structure is to make it so that there’s plenty of beckies to go around for everybody. And the higher a man’s financial stability, the more Stacy’s he’s earned. That’s what keeps society together.”
Joe is sitting with his hands crossed.
“but, guys like that could like, go to the gym, get buff. Take martial arts for a massive boost in confidence. Not everything is money and Gaston chins.”
Stan laughs, holds the cigar with confidence in his mouth as he takes his gun back, “Sure, but. …that’s a lot of work sir, why bring dumb-bells to a gunfight?
Puts his gun away, almost quivered as it snugly went into its strap.
“the Buddha says to grasshopper monk; why walk on water, when you can just pay the 2 cents for the ferry?”
They share a laugh.
Stan eases into the HÅG Capisco 8106 ergo chair.
Kicks his feet up on the table. He’s really into the cigar.
The show goes on for another 2 hours.
Rogan finds him a little misguided, but overall a good kid and patriot.