CHAT 2021
” …no one is illegal on stolen land… “
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cancel culture to parasocial relationships.
Joe Rogan is in a challenge session, while simultaneously enjoying a chocolate chip peanut butter cookie that was brought in to share.
It’s delicious and chewy. Soft, ooey-gooey, and gluten free.
His mouth slightly sticks together as he speaks, “Then, if the land is stolen, why not give your mansion back to the Tongva tribe? Right?”
She replies, unbothered.
Her oversized shirt and hands are over her knees, chillin’ on the guest chair.
“You know… Thought terminating cliches are such a btch. My stance is clear, stealing land and then choosing to call people illegal on it is a pretty fkd up foundation to try to stand on. Who comes up with that? If slavery was legal, would you be cheerleading that also?”
Joe’s a little taken back, “Well no I… No, stealing land isn’t cool and if slavery was legal I’d have a problem with that…”
“Well, if the problem is we are surrounded by psychos that can steal land and people from under our noses, why’re you asking me to give up my mansion? How’s that going to solve the problem?
Joe goes for clarity.
“Okay, but if everybody agrees the history was wrong, what are we actually supposed to do about it?”
She pauses, smirks.
“That’s a much better question than asking me to hand over the keys to my family’s house.”
Joe nods, looking slightly dumbfounded, “At first I thought you were being hypocritical but–“
“–who’s hypocritical?”
Billie “The Pirate” Eilish.
Singer-Songwriter. Performer. Social Justice Activist.
Doing promo for her upcoming movie and latest album.
Her mom came with her, but she’s with the Rogan girls and their golden retriever.
Rogan took another cookie, buying himself a moment. More interested in the question than in winning an argument.
Not knowing what to say next, his honor and patriotism clashing for clarity.
Billie’s glad Joe is actually thinking.
Fools that start arguing immediately and aimlessly from their dissonance are the worst.
“You know Joe, there’s something to be said about being admirable to yourself and others.
There was a video where you protected a guy from some crazy lady contestant… and stood up against jerks stealing jokes… And then other shows you’ve had that…
Look, I’m thinking about doing something crazy. Our family… We might actually leave our mansion, we’re considering it….”
Joe’s eyes pop out, he put his finger up, asking for a second while he finishes sucking cookie dough bits from his teeth.
“Wait, what!? May we know what’s the game plan?”
“I don’t have all the answers. but this new app has given us all butterflies in our stomachs, have you heard of bander time?
Joe nods, “Is that the one that, it’s crazy. Jamie, check real quick please? It’s being used to create like, really fast communities. Didn’t Nepal use it to dissolve their government and become thousands of miniature governments or something? I don’t know about it, but I did hear something like that.”
“Yeah, something like that. So like, my crew and I are doing a tour around– Can you bring a map up?”
Jamie brings up a Bander Time cartogram to Billie’s surprise.
“Oh nice! Even better, so see right there?”
Billie is pointing to the Map, asking for a closeup on California.
It’s made up of mostly red dots, with occasional yellow ones, and very few green marks scattered throughout.
“How it’s pretty much all yellow and red on the borders from Los Angeles, to Tijuana, to Mexi-Cali?
Green means that people are independent, have a tiny home with a little bit of land, and are under 150 people.”
confused, “Land?”
Excitedly, “I don’t know everything about it, but yeah! Everyone on earth rates 40 meters in a circle… …but,” LOL, “I don’t know how big that is!
“
“And you’re like, going to help people get land?” Joe laughs nervously, “I don’t see how uncle sam would let you– like, you and what army?”
Billie is likewise nervous, in a giggly way,
“So far it’s me, Tyler, Justin, and the Beatles. We’re planning a sing-and-build tag tour around these areas. The money made is going to fund highway libraries of materials, tools, entertainment, hydroponics, communication and internet antennas, data centers, and pretty much– Oh! It’s all live, and we’re building these big like, all terrain trains that will make connecting all these communities easier for moving people and things. And, they will be carless towns and cities, and umm, and–“
“–So wait, these are like… …what’s the… …So, you’re going to build a bunch of self-sufficient villages along the highways?”
Billie playfully nods and sideways glances, “Well, when you put it that way, yeah!”
Joe shoots Jamie a chin-flick while speaking with Billie, “But how will that work out in like, paying for–“
“–The main idea from the app is that you use money to get rid of money. If it works out, the mansion would probably get recycled to be a… …I don’t know yet. Everything is so new, but we’re all excited because it looks like we can finally be a part of something meaningful and change like, human history or whatever! …And I, ehm, …hope it works.”
Jamie gets Joe’s attention and fills him in.
“Oh really? So it’s also being used to vote? Jamie expands the screen map and it turns into a global view.
Haiti is covered with green dots along its border between DR. Kurdistan has green spots along the mountain range.
All the borders from Ghana to Somalia are being used to immediately free the land-locked countries.
Joe “Oh wow, would you look at all that… how are they even…
“Here’s that army…”, Jamie can be heard pointing out the map,
“So the Ghourkas were the first to promo the app, they even got a music video out.
The Kurds and Akashinga warriors are offering to train and fight, and also a whole list of other small units are signing in.”
Joe’s 
. He speed reads the info on the screen.
“Whoah! so this is like, legit.”
An app is acting like a new global country made up of thousands of small groups and no money, no– wait whaaaaa??? no religions?”
“Oh! The religion thing got my attention also. I can answer this. It’s weird, hear me out” Billie is overjoyed Joe is following along, she usually has a hard time explaining new age ideas to boomers,
“So, my psychologist told me that a parasocial belief, is like, a relationship with something that does not give you the same in return.
This is important because no real reciprocation means no real trust.
And fake trust is called faith, because, well, it’s an unearned belief or something like that.”
Joe latches onto that, “wouldn’t your fans then, with you, be in a para–“
“I know right! So, the app flags us as yellow, only because we are pro-social. It’s a warning? Telling everyone not to be sheeple?
My brother read that the god religions promote hierarchy and kingdoms to cover its approval of slavery. Also, the bible god promotes abuse of children and rpe, so, yeah, the app red flags that stuff.
Buuuuut, Justin is openly christian. Like, he would be flagged red if he tried to open a bible group. However, if instead he feeds the hungry, clothes and shelters the homeless, and visits prisoners, and says he got inspiration from JC on that, then he would be in the green… …does that make sense?”
Joe goes to pick up a cigar but puts it back, “Won’t there be like, groups that will take over other groups?”
Billie shrugs,
“I think that’s what the 150 limit is for, because everyone would have to vote to join in on something like that. Also, you’re free to leave any group at any time.
If people are voting to take over other people, I would just leave immediately.
Also, all the other communities around it would immediately notice and see that as a threat to their safety.
So umm. like, the main thing I took from everything is that you actually have to be involved in being self sufficient first, and then being active with your communities in making life easier and safer for everyone. Like, they even compete on that and I guess I’m trying to take a crack at it as well”
Rogan is in a little bit of shock. He’s thinking how an app like this would allow him to connect in a different way with his followers, maybe for the better?
“Between you and the others like, justin and tyler was it? How many groups would you have?”
Smiley face.
“We have a few hundred already and growing.
In 2 months we go on tour and, you know, see what happens?
Oh! and just in case I forgot to say it already. fk ice!”
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